This morning I bumped my head. On a shelf. Not seriously and not so you’d notice. No cuts or bruises.
Is there a word for a bump that’s softer than a bump? A nudge maybe? That sounds odd though.
‘I nudged my head on a shelf.’
No. I think I’ll stick with bumped even though for some reason I’m concerned that you might make a big thing of it!
Why am I caring what you think? It was my head that got bumped!
This particular shelf isn’t a new shelf. In fact it’s been there for decades and I’ve managed to avoid bumping my head on it for all those years.
Actually, it is about to be replaced by new shelves, so maybe it deliberately bumped me! Did the shelf bump my head or did I bump my head on the shelf? Whoa, now there’s a question! ………….
Enough now, this is not where I was going at all.
What interested me this morning was my reaction to bumping my head, which was very different to my usual reaction.
Normally I would curse, shout, or roll about on the floor like a professional footballer. I would need someone, anyone, to know that I was hurt and I needed some attention.
Another possibility and maybe more my style would be to direct my anger inwards and call myself names such as ‘stupid” or ‘idiot.’
Shame talk, I’ve mastered that over the years!
But this time was different. And this is how it went.
I bumped my head and immediately heard; softly and sweetly, “I’ve bumped my head!”
The voice sounded young, surprised and a bit affronted.
As quick as a flash another voice responded. ‘Sweetheart, are you okay?”
This voice sounded soft, strong and very, very nurturing.
I immediately relaxed and carried on with what I was doing. No shame talk or anger directed at myself. No needing attention from others either (not that there’s anything wrong with that by the way!)
What I felt was that I was being heard, appreciated, seen and loved. That was all that was needed in that moment, it was available to me, and it felt natural and it felt good.
To be clear, these ‘voices’ were not really voices at all, they were more like feelings or sensations that came with a deep sense of familiarity.
I often talk about inner wellbeing, resilience and the deep connection that we have with something so much bigger than us.
This morning I think I witnessed it. And I wasn’t in a mediation session, walking along a sandy beach or gazing into the eyes of a new born baby. I was bumping my head!
I loved that this ‘voice’ came in a very ordinary every day moment, and I didn’t need choirs of angels or celestial beings to applaud me and congratulate me.
I was reminded that within all of us is a quiet voice whispering to us at all times. I’m aiming to listen out more. Or maybe I’ll just bump my head more.
Afterthought: (Do you think that it’s possible that the shelf really is worried about being replaced?!)
